Did
Go to work really late
Run out of things to do within 10 minutes
Only catch 75% of Lady Boss's mistakes in a fee proposal
Get to hear that "I'm so disgusted with you" snorty sound when the proposal got sent back
Fix it
Submit to her subsequent condescension
Rage quietly in the ladies' room
Fantasize about quitting
Hurt

Didn't
Quit
Wig out about hurting
Get to go to the gym
Complain to Husband for more than half an hour or so
Have any more bootleg Canadian tv to watch
Write anything
Do any fun arty stuff

Did
Write a 150 word pulp fiction intro for a goofy NY Times contest
Sit at my desk for a bunch of hours
Visit the Body Shaman
Get complimented on my breathing AND on the wolf video
Read about community organizing in NYC
Spend quality time in a staff meeting
Get Boss Man to actually talk to the intern
Cook food
Watch tv
Play silly games with Husband

Didn't
Apply for any jobs or fellowships or good stuff like that
Blatantly do job research while at work
Fail at any of the Shaman's mysterious contortions
Learn much with my brain about why what we're doing is working
Develop an appreciation for the phrase "laundry list"
Send any bratty emails
Quit
Spend enough time outside

Did
Get sprayed with perfume on the subway by an oblivious seatmate
Meet our meek and mild Michigan intern
Turn her over to Lady Boss for the extraction of graphics
Fiddle away another day of thumb-twiddling tedium
Look at job ads while at work
Make a dude smile through the subway car window with FlirtyPower(tm)
Accidentally act rude toward our upstairs neighbors
Indulge in house-to-myself fun
Sing half-remembered arias in the shower

Didn't
Apply for a job I found
Act resentful toward my bosses
Spend a lot of time with the intern
Make a very good mentor
Let her know that my real job as a planner is bookkeeper
Have to sit through a boring staff meeting
Hurt

Did
Sleep really late
Sit in the cemetery and think about writing
Wish I'd spent a little more time on the end of the wolf video
Crack up laughing every time I watched it
Help Husband procrastinate by watching tv in the middle of the day
Win at Mr. Jack!
Only dread going to the office tomorrow a little
Shuffle through Fairway with the other Sunday night zombies
Feel really pleased with the weekend

Didn't
Hurt myself at all
Spend any time in pain
Actually tell annoying girls in the cemetery to shut up
Apply for any jobs
Work on arty blog
Worry about opportunity costs

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Did
Engage in much financial planning over breakfast
Make and then ignore a responsible Weekend To-Do List
Spend ten hours on my Fun & Exciting assignment
Curl and crouch like a contortionist
Make this!
Crack myself up

Didn't
Get bummed about the results of the financial planning
Act as irresponsibly as I would like to
Take a trip to Queens to watch people do burpees
Go outside for more than 5 minutes
Leave the project only half-done
Go crazy from spending ten hours on it
Cook or do the dishes
Work on finding a new job

Did
Get nervous about the gym
Spend an hour doing remedial work that I desperately need
Cry a little at coach
Get firmly and lovingly scolded
Get an assignment to do something Fun & Exciting
Walk home happy
Get a not-pissed email from Freelance-Work Intermediary
Tell Husband I really, really am quitting my job, for reals
Send out two quick job applications before bed
Bask in the notion that I could be free

Didn't
Feel at all sad telling Strength Dude I dropped out of the meet
Get disappointed by the kind of work we did
More than 2% doubt Coach's veracity
Get hurt
Figure out what the Fun & Exciting thing will be
Freak out Husband too badly
Have a happy reunion with milk
Screw up anything or alienate anybody

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Did
Sit back-to-back with a subway friend who made me wish I was sporting a shower cap
Get yelled at because the boneheaded thing my boss asked me to do produced boneheaded results
Fritter away some time
Take a soup break outside
Keep breathing
Officially drop out of the meet
Finally let down wannabe-client
Draft a resignation letter in my head

Didn't
Quit
Hide my feelings about Lady Boss
Get fired
Drum up enough busywork to get through the day
Sleep through my stop on the ride home
Cook dinner OR do the dishes
Figure out how to make it all better

Did
Spend quality time breathing on a deflated kickball
Let my inner Punky Brewster pick out our clothes
Brush up on old voice warm-ups
Very nearly quit my job, prompted by a preemptively raging sense of injustice
Somehow get roped back into doing marketing
Swing by the gym to talk to Coach face to face
Receive satisfaction
Get a high five from a badass
Have a nice, long walk home

Didn't
Crack my neck even a little bit
Make anything worse
Send crazy crack-monkey emails
Actually have justification to quit
Hurt
Lift even a pvc pipe
Tell other lifters that I'm out of the big meet
Deal responsibly with wannabe-client
Find a new job

Did
Refuse to let my hopes get up
Let Facebook make me a worse friend
Start my day with a Body Shaman
Get instantly and completely forgiven
Breathe deeply for an hour or so
Leave with much less pain
Spend the rest of the day bored
Get temporarily dumped by a nervous Coach
Respond how I wanted to rather than how I should
End the day with only slight discomfort, not pain

Didn't
Cry
Get disappointed
Lie when things hurt
Break myself
Forget what I learned, yet
Respond responsibly to wannabe-client
Get hurt by the dumping
Pretend to feel less than I do
Get to bed on time

Did
Bore people with obligatory pain updates
Apply for a job
Take two ice-pack naps
Make chili
Use arty blog as a new platform for whining
Feel pretty defeated
Go outside anyway

Didn't
Hear back
Do the stuff on my to-do list
Cry about it

Did
Sleep a ton, again
Feel pretty good
Fritter away the morning with the intarwebs
Get the heck out of this sleepy cave and go to the aquarium
Look at walruses and otters and walruses and sea lions and walruses and manta rays and walruses and sea turtles
Witness an NYC dad instructing his daughters on how to be polite!
Look at the walruses some more
Fall asleep on an icepack
Make dinner
Watch way more Canadian tv

Didn't
Cry!
Freak out about anything, real or imagined
Re-injure myself at all
Do anything I'll regret tomorrow
Clean
Work on any projects or job stuff
Feel bad about spending the whole weekend sleeping and healing

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Did
Continue to exhibit the emotional stability of a 2 year old
Walk 2 blocks from home before starting to cry
Convince Husband to go out without me
Nap
Get a good reminder that I am just really impatient
Cool out
Feel better
Rock out in Fairway at 8pm on Saturday night
OD on TV and chocolate
Do the dishes

Didn't
Get outside much
Spread my crazy beyond the bounds of the house
Do anything I need to feel embarrassed about
Work on any projects
Re-injure myself

Did
Sleep for 9 hours or so
Wake up feeling better
Get dressed for the gym way early because I was excited
Fail to deadlift even 75lbs
Stop myself before doing damage
Cry all over Coach as I explained how happy I was
Spend 30 minutes doing pistols
Spend the rest of the day sleeping, eating, icing, and emailing someone who understands

Didn't
Suddenly learn how to move correctly
Perfectly observe the rules I have learned
Consequently undo Body Shaman's work
Hesitate to stop doing something that hurt
Worry that I had ruined everything or freak when I was sore after
Shy away from being the crazy person I am
Feel sad or angry or lazy or guilty

Did
Wake up in the night worried that I was sleeping wrong
Screw my neck up a bit
Tell myself grownup things about patience and the importance of reasonable expectations
Wake Husband up by sobbing on his chest like a heartbroken child
Inundate people I respect with emotionally spastic emails
Get ALL the work done
Do two jobs simultaneously
Eventually calm down a little

Didn't
Actually hurt that much, really
Treat anyone badly
Lose patience with New Underling
Forget any of the work-package components
End up having to hand-deliver documents to DC tomorrow
Manage to feel embarrassed about my behavior
Protest being sent to bed early

Did
Hurt
Feel scared about seeing Shaman Bodywork Man
Get caught standing in the hall staring nervously at his door
Tell the truth
Hear for the first time in a decade that what I feel makes sense and is real and can be fixed
Cry a little with sheer relief
Start gettin' healed
Laugh at how much it hurt

Didn't
Go to the gym
Get my boss to finish any of the work due tomorrow
Respond to the client I blew off over the weekend
Get New Underling to do what I needed her to do
Leave the office before 9:30
Feel anything but amazed and grateful

Did
Wake up feeling pretty darn good
Remember to bring a book for the subway
Forget that it's not worth producing good work for Boss Man
Try to produce good work
Stay late getting ahead on work I'll have to redo tomorrow
Worry about being insufficiently injured to see Body Shaman
Get yelled at
Yell back

Didn't
Find out what is up with my bloody competition singlet
See any chiropractors
Get the muscle in my back to stop wigging out
Lift anything heavy
Figure out whether or not I'm training tomorrow
Stop being a scaredy-pants

Did
Wake up able to turn my head even slightly further
Have actual work to do at the office
Remember to stretch every damn hour
Remove the evidence of my cheatin' ways
Leave early to see Good Chiro again
Have some homeopathic magic pills
Get to listen to husband talk excitedly about welding

Didn't
Have to see Lady Boss thanks to an overseas trip
Get interrupted
Do any boring bookkeeping
Hurt myself
Lift anything heavy
Dream more pathetic dreams
Work on leaving my job
Wish my mom a happy former anniversary

Did
Wake up excited from a dream about Acquaintance emailing me
Wonder if that makes me the most pathetic person ever
See range-of-motion improvements
Wonder why you would film Coriolanus without the heart-eating
Hurt a bunch
Whine
Lose at Mr. Jack

Didn't
Cry about it
Hesitate to cancel tomorrow's gym time
Nap
Manage witty google-chat repartee
Apologize more than a hundred or so times for being hurt
Do anything productive
Give a hoot

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Did
Wake up without an alarm
See a third chiro in 3 days
Gain a supportive tape exoskeleton and the ability to turn my head
Try to mash/drug my muscles into submission
Nap
Go grocery shopping
Watch thrilling Canadian tv

Didn't
Do anything productive
Get upset
Heal completely
Forget that this is an incredibly minor setback

Did
Wake up feeling better, although fragile
Ruin it by cracking my neck
Follow that up with some fun spasm action
Bail on my client meeting so I could see Good Chiro
Get yelled at a little and cracked a lot
Turn into the ultimate chiro slut and make a 3rd appt for tomorrow
Work on the kickstarter project
Skip the gym
Sit perfectly still and look straight ahead

Didn't
Get much done
See a guy take a pie in the face at the gym
Let myself get too upset
Regret ditching the potential client
Work on the book
Work on an article
Play

Did
Wake up in pain
Fail to get an appointment with Good Chiro
Get a same-hour appointment with Chiro of Last Resort
Listen to some pro forma lectures and get cracked
Do some number crunchin'
Drive my little car across Brooklyn
Watch yet another terrible public meeting in action
Work on an article about public participation in planning, in my head

Didn't
Have to spend a lot of time with either boss
Cancel my possibly-stupid meeting tomorrow
Fail to provide Boss Man an audience for amusing zoning banter
Embarrass myself
Contribute ideas
Lift weights
Play with dogs

Did
Continue moving toward an uncertain, possibly-stupid-idea future
Start outlining a hypothetical article to try to sell
Watch an incredibly mismatched couple on the train
Spend quality time in the stairwell with a rubber ball
Volunteer to go to a public meeting tomorrow night for work
Squat 185lbs 7 times
Make a dude's jaw drop by working on pistols
Wish I'd made it to 8
Get snowed on

Didn't
Have more nightmares about the gym blog
Get in to see a chiro
Work out the kinks on my own
Tighten up enough under the bar
Manage to be in the gym and have a conversation simultaneously
Conquer self-doubt
Get stuck in my head
Play with dogs

Did
Actually go to work
Spend hours doing thrilling calculations
Set up an appointment with a freelance client
Worry that I'm just making a mess instead of making improvements
See someone else break free of their workplace
Receive digital reassurance from an unexpected quarter
Start leveling back out

Didn't
Work particularly fast or hard
Let my boss derail me at her whim
Put myself out there in the world
Toss shredded paper at football players
Do anything constructive with my evening
Play with dogs

Did
Play hooky
Spend the day at the zoo
Avoid computers
Go to the gym although I was scared to show my face there
Start work on an essay
Make dinner

Didn't
Finish and post the essay
Make much eye contact at the gym
Say hi to the usual people (who also didn't say hi to me)
Spend more than an hour or so looking at lemurs

Did
Wake up in the night with a plot idea
Participate in a comment thread that made people uncomfortable
Get gently and appropriately reprimanded
Hug my knees for a while and feel ashamed
Go for a walk in the sun
Win twice at Mr. Jack
Apply for a job
Enjoy some hormonal rollercoastering
Use Wonderfalls as a security blanket

Didn't
Dive face-first into the peanut butter jar
Write
Play with dogs
Communicate effectively
Watch the superbowl
Go to the zoo
Get closer to being able to quit

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Did
Wake up at 7:30 without an alarm
Drive myself a little crazy doing research
Brave the pre-Superbowl crowds at Fairway
Find out my elementary school is closing
Hang out on the fringes of a social event without saying hello
Win 2 out of 3 games of Mr. Jack
Go out to a movie on a Saturday night (in Manhattan!)
Rock out to some dude's music on the subway until he noticed and turned it off
Stay out past midnight

Didn't
Apply for any jobs
Write any query letters
Work on the book
Hang out with my friend whose birthday was today
Go to the zoo
Stay inside all day
Talk to strangers
Get a dog

Did
Look for jobs
Eat everything in sight
Lay in a sunbeam and finish reading a book
Read about freelance writing
Work (fruitlessly) on a video for arty blog
Haul 235lbs off the ground three times
Get annoyed by the cool kids, as usual
Change into real pants for the long walk home
Rediscover songs I had forgotten

Didn't
Hear from the potential client
Apply for any jobs
Actually write anything
Go outside early enough in the day
Get caught on the roof
Restrain myself from emailing
Finish the programmed workout
Feel bad about it

Did
Email a potential freelance client
Dress for the weather I imagined
Spend an incredibly boring day at work
Hurt in not quite every place all at the same time
Snack on brussels sprouts instead of junk
Eat a fig!

Didn't
Fall asleep on the job
Write a friendly follow-up to someone who did me a favor
Get to do more GIS analysis
Work on any ongoing projects
Pet a dog

Did
Wake up to the mellifluous sounds of a car alarm being used as a homing signal
Overhear an excellent kid-mom conversation on the train
Get to play with GIS for hours and hours
Squat heavy for the first time in a long time
Get many compliments on my proto-pistols
Walk 1.5 miles home with a 25lb backpack of frozen meat

Didn't
Screw up a 2-minute conversation with a woman I admire at the gym
Manage a 2-second chat with a really nice coach
Quit my job
Write to a potential freelance bookkeeping client
Maintain 100% certainty that quitting is right to do
Apply for jobs
Work on the kickstarter project

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Did
Survive the return of Lady Boss
Fend off her inquiries
Get to play with GIS a little
Watch tv instead of doing job applications
Forget to blog before bed

Didn't
Go to the gym
Get in trouble
Have to sit through a staff meeting
Work on the book
Get a dog