Did
Go to work really late
Run out of things to do within 10 minutes
Only catch 75% of Lady Boss's mistakes in a fee proposal
Get to hear that "I'm so disgusted with you" snorty sound when the proposal got sent back
Fix it
Submit to her subsequent condescension
Rage quietly in the ladies' room
Fantasize about quitting
Hurt

Didn't
Quit
Wig out about hurting
Get to go to the gym
Complain to Husband for more than half an hour or so
Have any more bootleg Canadian tv to watch
Write anything
Do any fun arty stuff

Did
Write a 150 word pulp fiction intro for a goofy NY Times contest
Sit at my desk for a bunch of hours
Visit the Body Shaman
Get complimented on my breathing AND on the wolf video
Read about community organizing in NYC
Spend quality time in a staff meeting
Get Boss Man to actually talk to the intern
Cook food
Watch tv
Play silly games with Husband

Didn't
Apply for any jobs or fellowships or good stuff like that
Blatantly do job research while at work
Fail at any of the Shaman's mysterious contortions
Learn much with my brain about why what we're doing is working
Develop an appreciation for the phrase "laundry list"
Send any bratty emails
Quit
Spend enough time outside

Did
Get sprayed with perfume on the subway by an oblivious seatmate
Meet our meek and mild Michigan intern
Turn her over to Lady Boss for the extraction of graphics
Fiddle away another day of thumb-twiddling tedium
Look at job ads while at work
Make a dude smile through the subway car window with FlirtyPower(tm)
Accidentally act rude toward our upstairs neighbors
Indulge in house-to-myself fun
Sing half-remembered arias in the shower

Didn't
Apply for a job I found
Act resentful toward my bosses
Spend a lot of time with the intern
Make a very good mentor
Let her know that my real job as a planner is bookkeeper
Have to sit through a boring staff meeting
Hurt

Did
Sleep really late
Sit in the cemetery and think about writing
Wish I'd spent a little more time on the end of the wolf video
Crack up laughing every time I watched it
Help Husband procrastinate by watching tv in the middle of the day
Win at Mr. Jack!
Only dread going to the office tomorrow a little
Shuffle through Fairway with the other Sunday night zombies
Feel really pleased with the weekend

Didn't
Hurt myself at all
Spend any time in pain
Actually tell annoying girls in the cemetery to shut up
Apply for any jobs
Work on arty blog
Worry about opportunity costs

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Did
Engage in much financial planning over breakfast
Make and then ignore a responsible Weekend To-Do List
Spend ten hours on my Fun & Exciting assignment
Curl and crouch like a contortionist
Make this!
Crack myself up

Didn't
Get bummed about the results of the financial planning
Act as irresponsibly as I would like to
Take a trip to Queens to watch people do burpees
Go outside for more than 5 minutes
Leave the project only half-done
Go crazy from spending ten hours on it
Cook or do the dishes
Work on finding a new job

Did
Get nervous about the gym
Spend an hour doing remedial work that I desperately need
Cry a little at coach
Get firmly and lovingly scolded
Get an assignment to do something Fun & Exciting
Walk home happy
Get a not-pissed email from Freelance-Work Intermediary
Tell Husband I really, really am quitting my job, for reals
Send out two quick job applications before bed
Bask in the notion that I could be free

Didn't
Feel at all sad telling Strength Dude I dropped out of the meet
Get disappointed by the kind of work we did
More than 2% doubt Coach's veracity
Get hurt
Figure out what the Fun & Exciting thing will be
Freak out Husband too badly
Have a happy reunion with milk
Screw up anything or alienate anybody

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Did
Sit back-to-back with a subway friend who made me wish I was sporting a shower cap
Get yelled at because the boneheaded thing my boss asked me to do produced boneheaded results
Fritter away some time
Take a soup break outside
Keep breathing
Officially drop out of the meet
Finally let down wannabe-client
Draft a resignation letter in my head

Didn't
Quit
Hide my feelings about Lady Boss
Get fired
Drum up enough busywork to get through the day
Sleep through my stop on the ride home
Cook dinner OR do the dishes
Figure out how to make it all better

Did
Spend quality time breathing on a deflated kickball
Let my inner Punky Brewster pick out our clothes
Brush up on old voice warm-ups
Very nearly quit my job, prompted by a preemptively raging sense of injustice
Somehow get roped back into doing marketing
Swing by the gym to talk to Coach face to face
Receive satisfaction
Get a high five from a badass
Have a nice, long walk home

Didn't
Crack my neck even a little bit
Make anything worse
Send crazy crack-monkey emails
Actually have justification to quit
Hurt
Lift even a pvc pipe
Tell other lifters that I'm out of the big meet
Deal responsibly with wannabe-client
Find a new job

Did
Refuse to let my hopes get up
Let Facebook make me a worse friend
Start my day with a Body Shaman
Get instantly and completely forgiven
Breathe deeply for an hour or so
Leave with much less pain
Spend the rest of the day bored
Get temporarily dumped by a nervous Coach
Respond how I wanted to rather than how I should
End the day with only slight discomfort, not pain

Didn't
Cry
Get disappointed
Lie when things hurt
Break myself
Forget what I learned, yet
Respond responsibly to wannabe-client
Get hurt by the dumping
Pretend to feel less than I do
Get to bed on time

Did
Bore people with obligatory pain updates
Apply for a job
Take two ice-pack naps
Make chili
Use arty blog as a new platform for whining
Feel pretty defeated
Go outside anyway

Didn't
Hear back
Do the stuff on my to-do list
Cry about it

Did
Sleep a ton, again
Feel pretty good
Fritter away the morning with the intarwebs
Get the heck out of this sleepy cave and go to the aquarium
Look at walruses and otters and walruses and sea lions and walruses and manta rays and walruses and sea turtles
Witness an NYC dad instructing his daughters on how to be polite!
Look at the walruses some more
Fall asleep on an icepack
Make dinner
Watch way more Canadian tv

Didn't
Cry!
Freak out about anything, real or imagined
Re-injure myself at all
Do anything I'll regret tomorrow
Clean
Work on any projects or job stuff
Feel bad about spending the whole weekend sleeping and healing

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Did
Continue to exhibit the emotional stability of a 2 year old
Walk 2 blocks from home before starting to cry
Convince Husband to go out without me
Nap
Get a good reminder that I am just really impatient
Cool out
Feel better
Rock out in Fairway at 8pm on Saturday night
OD on TV and chocolate
Do the dishes

Didn't
Get outside much
Spread my crazy beyond the bounds of the house
Do anything I need to feel embarrassed about
Work on any projects
Re-injure myself

Did
Sleep for 9 hours or so
Wake up feeling better
Get dressed for the gym way early because I was excited
Fail to deadlift even 75lbs
Stop myself before doing damage
Cry all over Coach as I explained how happy I was
Spend 30 minutes doing pistols
Spend the rest of the day sleeping, eating, icing, and emailing someone who understands

Didn't
Suddenly learn how to move correctly
Perfectly observe the rules I have learned
Consequently undo Body Shaman's work
Hesitate to stop doing something that hurt
Worry that I had ruined everything or freak when I was sore after
Shy away from being the crazy person I am
Feel sad or angry or lazy or guilty

Did
Wake up in the night worried that I was sleeping wrong
Screw my neck up a bit
Tell myself grownup things about patience and the importance of reasonable expectations
Wake Husband up by sobbing on his chest like a heartbroken child
Inundate people I respect with emotionally spastic emails
Get ALL the work done
Do two jobs simultaneously
Eventually calm down a little

Didn't
Actually hurt that much, really
Treat anyone badly
Lose patience with New Underling
Forget any of the work-package components
End up having to hand-deliver documents to DC tomorrow
Manage to feel embarrassed about my behavior
Protest being sent to bed early

Did
Hurt
Feel scared about seeing Shaman Bodywork Man
Get caught standing in the hall staring nervously at his door
Tell the truth
Hear for the first time in a decade that what I feel makes sense and is real and can be fixed
Cry a little with sheer relief
Start gettin' healed
Laugh at how much it hurt

Didn't
Go to the gym
Get my boss to finish any of the work due tomorrow
Respond to the client I blew off over the weekend
Get New Underling to do what I needed her to do
Leave the office before 9:30
Feel anything but amazed and grateful